1.     I invested in a first-date shirt. The shirt went on 30, possibly 50, first dates. You wouldn’t believe the time I saved picking out an outfit by wearing the same shirt on every first date.

2.      I mentally clocked out if I couldn’t stand my date. Now, this was only if I couldn’t STAND my date. So this happened like, three times. I was a complete log. One-word answers. Didn’t ask them anything about themselves. TEXTED. And I don’t feel bad. Ninety percent of the time, he didn’t ask me out again.

3.     I made sure the dude was talking most of our first date. Let’s face it. The guy thought I was sooo interesting, and I said three words.

4.     I left my phone at home. Usually. There were exceptions. But for the most part, I left my phone at home so I wasn’t even tempted to look at it while on a date.

Things I would do differently:

1.     I would have recorded dates on my phone. I only recorded one. The last date I went on before sticking to Gunnar.

I put it under the table, so I’m like 99 percent sure he didn’t know what I was doing.

The next day I listened to the conversation-- wait, conversation? I mean him talking for ten minutes straight until I say, “Did you just call your sister ‘luscious?’ I don’t think you know what that means…”

I couldn’t recommend anything more for a bad date. All the sudden, you’re not just a participant in a date, you have an audience. It might sound weird, or mean even, but don’t feel badly. You can endure the date longer, and *bonus*! You can pull it out on a bad day while eating junk food, and suddenly, it’s a great day. #doneit

2.     I would have paid way less attention to boys who didn’t pay attention to me. I definitely wasted time on boys who didn't necessarily treat me poorly, but who obviously weren’t that into me. I would have dropped them and spent more time COOKING. Or learning how to waterfall braid my hair. Things that are useful for eternity.