1. I've actually heard of this person before he ran for president

2. He’s loves gossiping and is denial about it

Too easy. In his GOP debate, Megyn Kelly posed a question about his continual unapologetic sexist comments. Which is fine. It’s a fair question. And it’s fair for Trump to be a sexist narcissist. It’s all fair. It’s America! Freedom of speech, baby. May it always stay that way.

But my favorite part of his response is, “Honestly, Megyn, if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I’ve been very nice to you, although I could maybe not be based on the way you have treated me, but I wouldn’t do that.”

And we’re all:
via GIPHY

Pretty rockin’ answer. Everyone loves someone who can take it without the need to dish it out. Go, Trump!

That is until right after the debate when he continues to belligerently attack her on social media, even alluding to her maybe being a little PMSy during the debate. Awh, yes. The high road.

Which reminds me of, I dunno, every Bachelor villain on every season. Giving an example of this would be like giving an example of a time we’ve eaten watermelon in the summer. But off the top of my head… Michelle Money (I love her, but let’s call a spade a spade: Homegirl can run her mouth when she wants to, but thinks she’s a saint.)

3. You don’t want him to not get a rose, or elected, because he is so dang entertaining

This is for the same reason I cried when I found out Ashley I got sent home on Chris’ season. Did she belong with Chris? No more than I belong with a seahorse. But no one wants a crazy cat to leave a TV show.

So why not elect Trump? He’s so entertaining, he gives it to us straight, he isn’t concerned about being politically correct, loves to dish it out but can’t take it. All good things when negotiating international affairs.  

4. He shouldn’t be allowed to speak without a PR agent present

You know how we’re all like, “Who really wrote this?” when our president delivers a speech? Well, I’m sure we’ll always know who wrote Trump’s because he’ll be the first president to use the word “hooker” in a public address.

Just like our friend Joe in Bachelor in Paradise, who decides to say, “She’s not very smart, is she?” about the beloved widow, Jeulia on the TV show. Heaven help him and anyone he might ever date or buy a drink for.

5. He takes the time to answer hate tweets on Twitter

Who wants a president who has better things to do than answer haters on Twitter? Not me! 

Awh, it's been too long since I've heard a politician use the word "bimbo."

The sweetest.

Our beloved Joe, taking the time to answer our thoughtful tweets.