Do you like the person you’re with? At all? Don’t take a peek at your phone. In fact, if I knew for a fact the person wasn’t a serial killer, I left my phone at my apartment. If you have to answer your phone or text someone back at all, make a big deal about how you hate to answer your phone, and you don’t normally do this, but your cat at home died and your mom is going through menopause, and you’re worried about her, and seriously, I’m not even kidding. It goes a long way.

And likewise, if you want to send the signal that you don’t like the person, take out your phone. Tweet the night away about how you should never get Diet Dr. Pepper instead of DP straight up. SnapChat your ex and tell your date about it. Double-tap to your heart’s content! But for the love of all that is holy, do not look at your phone if you like the person you’re on a date with.

2.    Boys: You’re bragging, and it sucks

There are very few things that will turn off a secure girl faster than the not-so-confident-yet-still-manages-to-be-cocky guy. One word for you: Woof. If she knows you were the captain of your high school basketball team on your first date: you’re doing it wrong. If she knows you have a scholarship at the end of your first date: you’re doing it wrong. If she knows any prestige having to do with yourself at all, and not because it came up naturally on your first date, she will think less of you. Simple as that.

One of the funnest things about being married to Gunnar, is I’m still finding out all his little accomplishments. Like about him getting an award with other boy scouts for rescuing someone on the side of a mountain. And I actually found that out because it was an article his mom saved in an old desk drawer at his parents’ house. You wouldn’t believe how high-pitched and annoyingly googley-eyed I got when I found that out.

There are some people who end up with the kind of person they always imagined they would end up with. To those people, I say that rocks. Those people are probably a lot smarter than the rest of us. And by the rest of us, I mean most of us.

Gun had my non-negotiables. Annnndd… that’s about it. I wanted a dark haired, tall, older, future businessman. I ended up with a blond, vertically challenged, 22-year-old, future saver of children, or something else entirely noble. And I’ll be real. Some of those things caused me to hesitate. Can you imagine? I would have been a dang fool.

I’m finding everyday that a lot of things that I wanted are some of my favorite things that Gunnar isn’t. As far as looks, I’m more attracted to this guy than anyone I have ever been with. And as far as his career choices, I’m seeing more and more that I would probably not jive with a businessman like I thought I would. Weird, huh? Follow Elsa’s lead, and set those shallow notions free.

4.    Boys and Girls: Don’t talk about yourself

I mean on the first date. And any boy I’ve gone out with who’s reading this is probably thinking, “What the fetch?! She talked about herself all day long!” Probably. But I definitely tried to get to know whatever homeboy I had in front of me. Since I’m a talker and a half, I had to physically restrain myself from hijacking every conversation.