I've done my future children the service of keeping a semi-regular journal since I was 12. In reminiscence of my 22 years, I decided to look through them and see if I was as funny as I imagined as a 14-year-old.

NOPE.

In fact, I think I hate myself from ages 14-19. Did I really write the words, “We looked at each other a lot in US History,” or “I HATE DRAMA”? 

In all caps? Did you really hate drama, Sarah? Um, kill me with a spoon.

I’ve never seen the words “skank” so much on paper. For all those times I said I wasn’t judgmental— Confession: I was LYING.

In fact, if I were to converse with teenage Sarah, I would jump in a pool while inhaling through my nose as a way to do ANYTHING else.

I’ve said I haven’t changed since I was 12 so many times, but GOSH please let that not be true.  

Also I looked at the journal entries around this time of year for each journal. Good to know I was on the verge of losing it annually for the last 7 years, (I was a very thoughtful, emotional teenager) and not just this year when I missed my train TWICE in one day last Friday.

Let’s talk about that.

((Actually let’s not, because it’s embarrassing and long. Just know I had a mini-but-very-real nervous breakdown. I called my mom (naturally), and given my reaction she said, “Sarah, what is this really about?”

And I said, “… You know, Mom. I wish there was an underlying reason to my reaction, but really I’m just upset I missed my train.”))

ANYWAYS.

I was talking to this fellow a couple of weeks ago, and he asked me what the best year of my life was. I thought about it for a second, and I realized. 22. By a landslide. I verified through background checks via journals, and yeah. Definitely age 22.

I’ve thought about why that is the past couple of weeks. Circumstantially, sure. It’s been unparalleled. I mean, for examples:

I lived here:

At a job I kinda hated, I randomly stumbled across these while looking for a screwdriver for a customer. If this isn’t a blessing, I don’t know what is:

I did this: (meaning, I got through a 17-hour graduation ceremony)

After doing so, I got to live with two of my best friends from college:

 

I got a grownup job pretty quickly after graduation. And not only that I was placed in "The Office" set. I wish everyone could understand exactly how much this person is actually Dwight Schrute. I was blessed to actually work with him: Sam the Intern. His last day was the worst day of 2013 for me.  He also asked me once if I ever thought about how much I hated one of my exes. The answer to that was, no. But it turned out to be a good exercise. Thank you, Sam.

This was his Halloween costume. Apparently he got a lot of attention at a Stake Dance. Well, of course he did.

Annnnd I missed my train twice in one morning. That has to be an accomplishment. Also, apparently when you cry it makes your eyes twinkly. I'll either invest in "Chicken Soup for the Soul" or eye-drops for my wedding day. Lesson learned.