2.     “Spring has sprung,” “Fall into spring, “ “Fall into summer,” ANY pun having to do with seasons whatsoever makes me realize this generation is doomed, simply for lack of creativity.

3.      The Disney Channel. What in the heck happened to wearing clothes that matched, or at least worked and ponytails? No, sorry, you don’t need to have your hair protrude in all directions to receive attention. Disney Channel is teaching us that as long as you look like an idiot you’ll have friends and your own TV show. No.

4.     Children that don’t know how to spell “cat,” understand how to properly use cell phones. I don’t know whether to give Apple a high-five for the success of their "easy-to-use" initiative or cry myself to sleep because my future children’s brains will rot before they have the opportunity to throw up on a tire swing. Let’s learn our letter sounds before we learn what the “Temple Run” icon is.

5.     Crop tops are in? I’m sorry, but have you seen America lately? Absolute disaster. Because I promise, clothes will only get skankier, and we will only get fatter.

6.     People seem to be way more stressed about the “hidden meaning of Frozen” than the fact an airplane mysteriously disappeared between Malaysia and Beijing. In fact, I see a higher likelihood of a movie plot making it into the conspiracy theories section of World History than a disappearing aircraft. 

7.     Everyone has to pump gas in their car, which means to me, that the random sample of people I see at gas stations should be a fair representation of the people that roam this earth. Think about that.

8.      SpongeBob SquarePants.